That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
