so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize