dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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