Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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