new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
