grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
