no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
