it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
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She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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