i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
that may or may not have been my penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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