Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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