The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
