dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
