Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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