Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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