Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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