Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Who the fuck stole my fridge again