bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.