I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon