called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind