im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules