I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.