Sponge bath it is.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.