I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
