I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
