Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
