she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
