just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did I show you my penis last night?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
