Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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