omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
