Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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