took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize