As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
