he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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