my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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