I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
