Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic