I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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