Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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