You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
