My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
