hotel room ftw
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
