Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize