I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
