oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
