She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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