I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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