on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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