Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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