Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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