Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
