You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
