also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize