There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
