NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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