Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
