Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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