i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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