Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
