I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
