No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
